Bonzo Dog Doo Dah

Hello,

It is with some trepidation that I welcome Bonzo to the blog - his appearance in the past has often been the harbinger of chaos and resulted in a nose-dive in quality (remember the Chainsaw Juggler and the S & M Stripper as interval entertainment?!). The ensuing newspaper report is still discussed whenever I go to my club - it is this sort of thing that I do hope we can be avoid in the future. I note that he has dragged Elizabeth into the discussion already (he refers to her as "Lovelips Lil"). We have ploughed this furrow before and it has never produced a fertile crop. He knows that my relationship with Elizabeth was an important, meaningful and turbulant part of my life and her indecision concerning style of dress and gender is a continuing matter of regret and turmoil for both of us. It requires no crass or insensitive intervention from him.

I have done some research and have located Andrew Oldham-Philips. He refuses to speak to me and will only discuss things with Derek who, he says, "understands"! - Derek perhaps you could contact him, I will send you his email in confidence lest Bonzo gets involved and loses us this potentially valuable contact. It seems that we are doomed to re-record the song - is it possible for the others to put their parts down and then I will visit the studio, if necessary with you, and sprinkle my magic dust over their efforts (perhaps a Friday would favourite).

Bonzo - Blackpool, jellied eels and figs still turn my stomach, as indeed do you - I hope that we can bring this necessary but sorry business to a close as soon as possible and pocket the wonga. In the meantime please keep your blogs to a minimum and allow Derek and I to attempt to steer this project into port safely without encountering the choppy waters which you seem intent on creating.

Charles PALMER-WHITE